What’s the one sure fire way to get what you want?
It’s quite simple: just ask.
Unfortunately, many of us are not great at asking. For any number of reasons stemming from childhood conditioning to traumatic rejections later in life, we have become afraid of the word “no.”
But to get what you want in life, all you have to do is Ask, Ask, Ask!
And then just keep asking until you get a yes.
No’s are just part of the journey on your way to finally getting a yes. It only takes one “yes” to radically change your life forever.
So, don’t get discouraged when you get a no. Just keep asking! You have to accept that you may get a lot of no’s on the way to a yes – whatever it is that you want.
I’ve had a lot of no’s in my life and it wasn’t until I enrolled onto the Success Principles as a Trainer that I began to understand to just ignore the no’s and keep going until I got a yes. This was a useful technique during my career as I got made redundant three times and it was hard to keep going at times. I would apply for jobs but ‘NO’ seemed to be the usual answer with no real reason for not employing me.
At that point I remembered Success Principle 7…. ASK, ASK, ASK. I stopped applying for jobs and asked people in my network for contacts and it worked. The day I left one job I started another one the very next day.
I’m not saying it was easy, but it was easier pushing on an open door than a closed one!
Below, you’ll find a few helpful resources to help you break out of your comfort zone and start asking for what you want. Firstly, here’s a video by Jack Canfield who gives us some great examples of how to ask for what you want. Jack now leads the amazingly successful Jack Canfield Group. I became one of his UK trainers and offer workshops in The Success Principles all over the UK.
The act of asking is actually very difficult for many of us—the fear of rejection, awkwardness, and embarrassment stop our requests from ever leaving the safety of our mind.
But the more specific the request, the more likely we’ll get what we ask for.
There is a specific science for asking for and getting what you want and need in life. Here are five tips to help you get started:
- Ask as though you expect to get it. Make your request with confidence and a full expectation that your wish will be granted.
- Assume you can. Don’t start with the assumption that you can’t get what you want. Adopt the attitude that all you need to get what you want is to speak up and say that you want it.
- Ask someone who can give it to you. If you want a yes, there’s no sense asking a person who is incapable of fulfilling your request. Qualify the person you are talking to before asking.
- Be specific. Vague requests produce vague results. Be clear about exactly what you want to ensure you get it. Don’t ask for a raise – ask for $5,000 more a year.
- Ask repeatedly. Persistence is a key principle of success. Some people will say no to your requests. Your job is to keep asking until you get a yes.
Learning how to ask will make a world of difference for you as you work toward your goals. As with everything, practicing the science of asking will help you improve. You will even speed up your progress by getting what you need or improving yourself to get it later.
Ready for your Weekly Challenge?
To be successful, you must learn to reject rejection. Rejection doesn’t mean “no”, it simply means “not yet.” Just remember this acronym: SWSWSWSW. It stands for “Some will, some won’t, so what, someone’s waiting.”
For this week’s challenge, I’d like you to make a list of three things you could ask for that would help you achieve one of your major goals. Then commit to a time when you will ask them. As a FREE gift, I’m including the Breakthrough to Success Online Module 2, ‘7 Step Guide’ on ‘Taking Action, and Rejecting Rejection.’
I’m interested in how you get on with this exercise so please do let me know how you get on via our Facebook link.
Lesley Strachan (MBA) is an Award-winning coach| consultant| speaker| trainer and adviser and is based in Hampshire, UK. She is also a Certified Jack Canfield Trainer in The Success Principles and uses her creativity and experience to inspire others through teaching, mentoring and coaching all over the world and has loads of fun doing it. Lesley has over 30 years of experience working in the corporate and education sectors as well as years of experience as an Entrepreneur. Her areas of expertise include: personal life coaching, communication training, leadership training, corporate training, health and wellness, and educational consultancy. Lesley is also a mentor for young people for EBP and an Enterprise Adviser for The Careers and Enterprise Company
Lesley’s latest book is due out soon called “The Ultimate Guide for Parents: How to help your kids become self-confident, happy and passionate.” Pre-Order Lesley’s Book and watch a mini webinar which explains what the book is about.
Lesley Strachan Consulting and Training
“Getting you from where you are to where you want to be”
Award winning Coach| Consultant| Speaker| Trainer| Adviser
Tel: 0044 (0)7739 172447|Email: firstname.lastname@example.org